I offer the following Michael Grose article to you in the knowledge that you are not alone.

Stress o’clock

A recent Australian study found that 7.00am is the most stressful time of the day for working parents. Dubbed stress o’ clock, this is a time in the morning when work and family pressures and the deadline of the clock converge.

Recent conversations held with parents indicate that children and young people experience stress o’clock too. This is a time soon after a child wakes when self-doubt, getting ready for school and looming fears clash. Children’s tummy-aches and heads-aches often prevail at this time of day.

“Mum, I don’t feel well. I think I’ve got a cold. I don’t want to go to school.”

How do you respond when you suspect there’s more worrying your child than a sniffle, and you’re hurrying to get ready yourself? Most parents don’t have a script to guide them when stress o’clock hits.

Pandemic induced anxiety
Since the pandemic adults and children are reporting higher levels of stress and anxiety. Morning is one of the worst times for anxiety to strike. Like a fox, anxiety comes in the night robbing children of their courage, replacing assuredness with self-doubt, apprehension and fear.

Dealing with a child or young person in the middle of their anxious moment is super hard, particularly when you’re still wiping the sleep from your eyes. In times of stress, it’s always best to stay SOBER. That is,

Stop what you are doing and pay attention to your child and to yourself

Observe the emotional reaction you are having to your child’s distress and ask what your gut is telling you

Breathe deeply to remove yourself from panic mode (‘I can’t take this!’) and kick start your thinking brain that has succumbed to your survival brain

Expand your vision and look at the bigger picture. Perhaps your child is genuinely nervous but it’s important that they sit the test that makes them feel awful. Allow the bigger picture to guide your actions.

Respond to your child or young person calmly. Empathy and understanding are in short reply in the mornings, but if you have practised this type of response in low stress situations, you’ll be more than ready to respond appropriately, rather panic or over-react when your child is stressed.

Like everything in parenting, this plan sounds easy when there are no kids around, but it’s important, nevertheless.

A lack of a plan you can follow when kids are anxious is the major cause of parent stress. In times of stress, it always helps to have a plan to follow. When dealing with children’s nerves, tension and anxiety at stress o’clock this plan will really help you.

by Michael Grose

Remembrance Day
Our children participated in a virtual Remembrance Day Ceremony today. Congratulations to everyone for the respectful way they commemorated this important occasion.

Finally thank you once again for your ongoing support during this time. Please rest assured that the staff is working hard to keep your children safe. We hope and pray that our community might be spared the disruptions that have occurred at many ACT schools

Restorative Practices at St Matthew’s

If you have more than two children living at home, I wonder what it was like in your house during remote learning? Did the siblings always cooperate? Was it always peaceful? Were there never any unkind words? Not surprisingly, now that our students have returned to school, we’ve noticed that they’re learning, once again, how to be cooperative, collaborative, and peaceful learners and friends.

We all know that students are going to make mistakes and errors of judgement as they learn and grow, and as they take risks and try new things—it's how we respond that matters. Here at St Matthew’s, we believe that students should have a chance to learn from their mistakes and to restore any damaged relationships with others. Our view is known as the restorative approach to discipline. The rationale behind this approach is that when offenders reflect upon their harm to victims, they become remorseful and act restoratively. They are offered opportunities to make amends. This can help children regain their footing in a nurturing environment with consistent classroom practices and high expectations.

Traditional tools for addressing behavioural issues among students—rewards and consequences, shame and humiliation, suspensions and expulsions—run counter to our belief in the innate dignity of each person, and do not result in lasting change, much less a productive learning environment. Children who are habitually criticised, humiliated, or shamed internalise negative feelings about themselves that affect healthy development. By contrast, children accustomed to loving support and guidance are much more likely to become healthy and productive citizens. Restorative Practices help all students learn to resolve disagreements, take ownership of their behaviour, and engage in acts of empathy and forgiveness.

Restorative Practices can also work for you at home. You may want to use restorative questions to help your child move through disagreements or behavioural issues. We invite you to read more about these practices here and to support us as we build a positive culture of teaching and learning.

Sincerely,