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Dear Parents and Carers
Our school subscribes to Parenting Ideas written by Michael Grose. I recommend the following article to you as a guide for an issue that often confronts children in their Primary years.
Enjoying healthy relationships has a tremendous impact on your child’s wellbeing and their overall success at school. Many children who experience behavioural problems at school have difficulty interacting with their peers.
Coach your child in positive social skills Children who develop healthy friendships have a definite set of social skills that help make them easy to like, easy to relate to and easy to play with. If your child is struggling to make friends, consider coaching them using this three-pronged approach:
Be open: Some children close themselves off to forming new friendships, preferring to stick to one or two friends. Encourage your child to be open to forming friendships with a wide variety of children in and outside school and in doing so encircling themselves with many friendship groups.
Be inclusive: Encourage your child to include a wide number of children in their games and activities rather than restricting the possibility of joining into certain children. Healthy friendship groups are open and inclusive of others, while unhealthy relationships, such as cliques are restrictive, one-sided, and full of gossip and criticism.
Be aware: Encourage social awareness in your child. For instance, a socially aware child would be discrete when giving out birthday party invitations at school, being protective and sensitive to the feeling of those not invited. This level of social awareness does not necessarily come naturally to all children, but it can be reinforced by parents and teachers.
Encourage friendships with both genders The primary school age is an ideal time for children to form friendships with all genders. This is particularly valid if your child has siblings of their own gender, or do not have siblings. It is through these early relationships that we gain the confidence to mix with different genders in later life. Forming friends helps to break down the mystique that can form, when a child has little contact with the ‘other’ gender.
Understand the impact of gender on friendships Research shows that boys’ friendships groups are more inclusive and less changeable than friendships enjoyed by girls, particularly those in the eight-to-twelve-year age group. Be prepared to support your daughter through the hurt of friendship breakdowns and remind her that new friendships are just around the corner. Help her reflect on her own place in a friendship breakdown and be open to restoring a relationship once emotions are in check.
Remember, friends of a feather flock together If you think that your child does not have as many friends as a sibling or other children their own age, do not be too alarmed. On average, children usually have only two or three significant friendships at any one time. It is the quality rather than the quantity of friendships that counts. If you are concerned that your child lacks friends at school encourage him to start a variety of extra-curricular activities. It is easier to strike up a friendship with someone when you have something in common. More than anything else encourage your child to be friendly by talking to others, showing an interest in what other children do, offering help when needed and being willing to enter a new game or social situation. Consider instructing your child, if necessary, alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
May God bless you and your families.
Graham Pollard
Principal